Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
