why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
