you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
