this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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