Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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