Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize