pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We got so high we made milksteak
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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