This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
