After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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