She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
