You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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