two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
