I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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