I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
