whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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