You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
