i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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