Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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