the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize