First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Come share oat with me in your robe
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
