Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
well you can't waste a boner
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize