ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
