that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
