My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
