So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
