And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
