I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
being pregnant is like rehab
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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