waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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