My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
