It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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