why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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