Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
