talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
