Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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