Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
