Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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