I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
