There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you didnt know i had herpes?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
