Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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