it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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