Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize