Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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