i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
