I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
