I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
