Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
