don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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