whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize