you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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