She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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