party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
