OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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