My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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