Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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