what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
