I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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