is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
