I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
how does that bad decision feel?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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