You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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