i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
