No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
