I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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