I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We are two peas in an std pod
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
