you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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